Jokes for Refreshment, Reading for fun.

[Geeljire]

Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.

The first one says: "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago."

The second woman says: "You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. he's now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles."

The last woman says: "You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."

The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"

The woman then replies, "He fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games, cricket games...."

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~

[Geeljire]

Expensive Doctor

Joe goes to consult a world famous specialist about his medical problem. After the visit Joe asks, "How much do I owe you?"

"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician.

"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred."

"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."

"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"

"Who has that kind of money? Do you think I'm Bill Gates ?"

"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out."

"I can give you twenty," says Joe. "Take it or leave it."

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?"

"Listen, Doctor", says Joe, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~
 

[Geeljire]

Miracle Doctor

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do except for Banta, the town's grouch.

So Banta went to this 'Miracle Doctor' to prove that he wasn't so miraculous.

He goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing, so what are you going to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tell Banta, "What you need is jar number 43."

"Jar number 43?", Banta wonders.

So the doctor leaves and after five minutes brings a jar and tells Banta to taste it.

He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is ****!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Banta," says the doctor.

So Banta goes home very mad.

One month later, Banta goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little. Then tells Banta, "What you need is jar number 43..."

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Banta fled the office.

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~

[Geeljire]

Globalization

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.

That, my friends, is Globalization!!

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~

 

[Geeljire]

Ex-Husband

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~

[PrincessMuni]

Expensive Doctor

Joe goes to consult a world famous specialist about his medical problem. After the visit Joe asks, "How much do I owe you?"

"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician.

"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred."

"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."

"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"

"Who has that kind of money? Do you think I'm Bill Gates ?"

"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out."

"I can give you twenty," says Joe. "Take it or leave it."

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?"

"Listen, Doctor", says Joe, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."

Kind regards,
Geeljire ~
 

lool very funny!!! he understood the "When it comes to the health, nothing is too expensive." in the wrong way

[Yaxya]

looooooooooool very funny i like specially ex-husband and the one about golbalization thanks a lot Geeljire