Thanks Sister Lovely Huda.
This is similar Joke about Somalis
YOU ARE SOMALI IF:If you argue about the little things in life that doesn’t even make sense
when you walk together in groups and you guys are the loudest in the halls of schools and college, etc
If you argue about talk about Qabils or clan/tribes at least 5 times a day, and you act like you know everything about everyone.
[for guys] If your watch comes all the way down to your elbow.
If the only way you can memorize is by getting 10 lashes to the body.
If your teeth describe the part of Somalia you're from.
If the computer you're now reading this on, is NOT yours.
If you can't have a meal without a Banana.
If Belts, hangers, and telephone wires traumatize you.
If you see your-self on CNN, CBS, and BBC.
[for guys] If you have more scars on your legs than a Vietnam War vet.
If you re-use cooking oil.
If you place your gum in the fridge for later use.(don't hide, I know ya'll do it).
If you spit when you talk.
If the batteries on your remote control are held together by a piece of tape.
If you think freezing batteries recharges it.
If you've ever dropped food and kissed it up to Allah before you ate it.
[for elders] If you talk loud on the phone just because it's long distance.
If you eat cough drops like it’s candy.
If you go to a wedding just for the free bariis.
[for moms]If you chew your baby's food, then feed it to them.
If your kids go to school smelling like rice and Bananas with a little bit of Goat milk.
[for moms]If you pinch your baby's nose so he won’t have a Jamaican nose. (US & UK)
If you iron dirty clothes.
[for guys] If you win at dodge ball cuz of constant ducking of flying objects thrown by your mom (i.e., Vaseline bottles, cups, plates, remote controls).
If you brush your teeth with a tree branch claiming it has vitamins.
If you think every teacher is racist.
If you blow your nose in the middle of the street.... with your hands
If you feel happy whenever you see another Somali in a strange country or on a street
When a Somali is successful and rises up against all odds, even if you do not know him, if he comes up in conversation you will feel proud to say he comes from your people
If you say “baber�? instead of “Paper�? basically you use “b�? instead of “P�?
If your Mom hits u with anything that is near her, anything from a shoe to a bowl
If your parents or family relative owns a store at the Somali Malls
If your aunts and uncles have more than 7 kids
If you have billions of cousins
If you act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay
If your middle name is your father's first name
If you teach your American friends some Somali words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations
[for guys] If you always have a toothpick in your pockets even for breakfast
If your cloth smell like the food you just ate
If your whole family birth date is January, 1
If your on the bus and you are the loudest people talking
If you have about 30 kutabz at home but never use it
If tea is made 5 times a day
If your mom says "you can memorize music, but u cant memorize Quran"
If you buy a computer and your parents ask for BBC Somali radio 24/7
If there are buttons missing on your TV, so you use fork to change the channels.
if you have a printer, but it doesn't WORK
If your dad swears he was a superstar soccer player
If your mom wears a dirac to the supermarket
If you have the same drapes or long curtains as at least 5 of your other neighbors.
If you have a cell phone all day, but you turn it on at 6
If you repeat Wallahi 10 times in a sentence
If you send at least 2 times a month money back home… not including Ramadan and Eids.
If you or your family has a Honda or Toyota… maybe Nissan or Mazda. lol… my family has Toyota and Honda.
If your favorite food is Sanbusa during Ramadan.
If you go to the Somali Malls at least once or twice a month.
If you are qoxotie (refugee) u know I’m talking bout you.
If you think every woman who smiles for you...wants you.
If you were told the wedding starts @ 9 pm but the guests and bride show up at 12 am.
If your hair line starts at ur ears
If your hair is soft and u look mixed but ur lil brother looks like he's from kenya
If you stare at other somalis in the car in the stop light for no reason
If the law does not apply to you and you'll never be scared of taking any risk (e.g.. driving without a licence or insurance in the car)
If you try to guess what part of Somalia people are from or their "QABIL" by listening to their accent.
If u think u gonna be the President of Somalia becuase ur Clan/Qabil has 10 worlords
If U think your tribe has the biggest Popluation in Somalia
If you had dreams that someday you will be the President of Somalia... Not a doctor or Engineer... or even a mathematicians
If your height is above 6-5 and you can't dunk..
If you finger your nose in public.
If your friend gets jumped and you won't help.
If you act hard around your people.
If you take EBT and work.
