Everyone knows that not allowing oneself to show
,feelings of anger and resentment can be very unhealthy,
leading to stress and long-term feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness
But how do we release our anger without looking foolish or petulant?
The first thing to learn is that expressing your anger and losing your temper ae not the same thing at all. One is natural and healthy, the other is destructive and dangerous. We usually admire those who can express their anger calmly, and see them as 'firm but fair' or mature and self-confident. While those who lose their temper appear to be immature, childish, selfish and aggressive.
Mandy Dickson is a psychologist who has established a successful one-day anger workshop that helps ordinary people to learn about and manage their anger. The seminar is not intended for criminals or the mentally ill, but for those ordinary people who feel powerless to control their own tempers.
The first thing Mandy explains is that anger is a natural and normal feeling, and that feeling angry about something is nothing to be ashamed of. But we need to recognize anger when we feel it, and to investigate its true causes. Once we know the real cause of anger we can confront it and begin to do something positive about it. Mandy asks participation to complete a questionnaire about things that make them angry. By comparing these 'triggers' people often discover that the true causes of anger are other feelings, especially fear, disappointment and grief. But because it is not socially acceptable in our culture to openly demonstrate these feelings, we express them as anger. This is particularly true for men who, even in these enlightened times, are expected to hide any feelings of inadequacy or fear and be strong and stoical in all situation.
Having recognized the causes of anger, the first step is to learn how to avoid anger- including situations. The next step is to learn how to express one's feelings calmly and firmly.
Mandy believes that when we are angry we want other people to understand our anger and sympathize with it. But we often fall into the trap of expressing anger by criticizing those around us, when what we really want is their support and empathy. One of the most common causes of anger is when other people fail to behave in a way you expect them to. But as Mandy explains, human beings are not telepathic, they can not be expected to automatically anticipate other people's desires and wishes. So, essential tool in reducing the occurrence of anger-inducing situations is to always explain exactly what you want and expect from those around you. It is all essentially a question of communication.
Thank you for reading the article and don't be angry for anything because nobody is worth putting your health in risk. God Bless You ALL